Joy of Duct Tape

January 3, 2010 at 9:19 am Leave a comment

Inspired by watching Julie and Julia last night on DVD, I decided to repair my copy of Joy of Cooking with duct tape. My husband and I were given the 1997 edition from my brother and sister-in-law for a wedding gift. And in the 14 years since, my passion and lack of archival sense took its toll. Broken spine, ripped, stained, dog-eared and missing pages, segmentation (at page 110; I’ll never how to make New England Clam Chowder past scrubbing the “5 pounds quahogs or other hand-shelled clams.”)

The book looks like total crap but it’s still functional. I broke every bindery rule in the book, so to speak, but I was able to attach the filthy front and back covers. I did sacrifice part of the ‘W’ and ‘Z’ pages in the index, but who really cares since I’ll never make Whelk Fritters or Kouglof. I thought I was missing the ‘X’ and ‘Z’ section, but that’s because the book never bothers to cover any foods that begin with those letters. I guess I’m out of luck if I want to prepare xigua or zabaglione.

So of course after watching the movie, I had fantasies of the world discovering my blog, becoming famous, and publishing a book based on my disparate rants. But that only works for Julie Powell and Diablo Cody. The rest of us toil for nothing more than a few pats on the head, never even getting the chance to bite the gold coin like Underdog.

Besides, I’ll never have millions hanging on to my every word, because my every word changes with each word. I dart from medium to medium and message to message, never staying in one long enough to build a following.

“So what is your blog about?”

I get asked this a lot by friends who understand analytics and search engine optimization and throw around the word ‘monetize” a lot.

“It’s about stuff I think about,” I reply, coming off like a surly 15-year-old.

So in a half-assed attempt to keep my sanity, I’ve decided to just write, speak, or video whatever I want to. Maybe it will take some kind of form, maybe it will pick its own “lane.” (I just looked this up: “Pick a Lane: How to Focus Your Expertise to Increase Your Bottom Line” The info made me want to do neither.)

So: The topic is Roberta, the focus is Roberta, the tags are Roberta. As for a lane, I’ve always weaved in and out of them while driving.

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