Archive for October, 2009

Who needs Oral A?

I woke up at 6 a.m. just to brush my teeth. But he adrenaline started pumping way before a hint of light reached my eyelids; I barely slept during the night.

I ran to the bathroom where my new OralB Professional Care SmartSeries 4750 toothbrush with Dentist-Inspired Cupping Action, plus FlossAction and Oscillating-Pulsating Technology was sitting in its Innovative Base Station plugged into its Portable SmartPlug Charger. The In-handle Smart Display let me know it was full and ready.

Why did it make me wait ten hours for a charge? That’s just cruel. OK, I did sneak in a quick sweep of my mouth a half hour after I put the base in the charger, but that doesn’t count, because the experience didn’t last long enough to be satisfying.

So, as the birds started singing and the other desert creatures made whatever threatening noises they could, I popped on the Floss Action brush head, added a schmear of toothpaste, and was ready to go.

I picked it up, ready to brush, but I had to stop. An ergonomically designed handle is a beautiful thing to hold. I rolled it in my hand, admiring it; its heft and tang as fine as a Wusthof. The brush head felt as if it had always been part of the handle, hand-forged in a foreign workshop by some guy who’s been making them for hundreds of years.

How handsome it was-in hues of blue and summer white, highlighted by silver wings that were waiting to take the inside of my mouth to ecstasy and beyond. Beyond could be to the toilet for all I cared-If my Oral B it was taking me there, I wanted to go. My mouth tingled with anticipation, nervous as a virginal schoolgirl.

I put into my mouth; gingerly at first, letting the pulsations and oscillations buzz me away. Daily Clean mode felt so good, but I had to back off, the sensation was too much to bear. Pushing the brushing mode button to Sensitive seemed like my only choice at this point.

It cleaned each quadrant slowly, giving each one its pre-allotted time that somehow seemed exactly right. But soon I was salivating for more. I moved on though Massage (or “Kobe Teeth”), Whitening, (a good idea; though my teeth were clean, my married self felt dirty) all the way to Deep Clean. Or as the Spanish-language version of the instructions informed me, Profundo.

They had it right. Deep Clean was so Profundo, its toothpaste tsunami so pleasurable, that I lost track of time. It was only when a smile face broke the mood and informed me that I’d been brushing for 11 minutes and 38 seconds that the OB 4750 left my mouth.

I began to put the handle down on its rightful place, (just to the left of my bathroom sink and next to that woven thing full of cotton balls) stopping once to lightly squeeze its ribbed underside and marvel at its girth. I knew it would be many hours before I felt it again.


October 17, 2009 at 5:11 pm Leave a comment

Roberta Gale

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