Archive for September, 2009

How to get the love you want from a blog.

I tried. Honestly, I tired many times a day every single day to log in to my blog, write something and then get on with my day. But instead of using my confused beloved as the world’s window to me, and vice versa, our relationship has become a candidate for couples counseling.

It’s not that your empty spaces mock me, or your technology confounds me. It’s just that…well.. brace yourself, sweetie…. I have another suitor who begs me to come whisper words in his ear-intimate words that will never see the light of the Web.Yes, I’ve been having a non-virtual affair with my personal journal.

When my pen touches his thick, handmade paper, I feel free because I know I’m writing for no one but myself. That narcissistic ass Kerouac got one thing right when he advised writers to keep “Scribbled secret notebooks, and wild typewritten pages, for yr own joy.”

But I will never stop loving you, hanging out with you, and sharing my witty, pithy comments on life, politics, and everything else with you.
I shall never, ever divorce you. But from now on, my secret dreams, passions, fears, thoughts, will be shared with another.

Please don’t be sad. It’s not you, it’s me.

September 30, 2009 at 10:54 am Leave a comment

Im a lazy human being and I have no right to be on the blogosphere

According to some site that I glanced at once that I’m too lazy to check out again or even hyperlink to, a huge number of blogs are abandoned after a few weeks or a few months or some other statistic that I half-remember but don’t feel like searching for right now.

I can see why.

Blogs are similar to relationships. When you first meet, you’re smacked by that bolt of phermerones that keeps you so full of in-love stupidity that you post ten times a day. You call in sick, ignore family and friends and survive on whatever frozen crap is closet to the checkout lane.

Then, the shift. Imperceptible at first, ignorable for a while, but you feel it deep in the pads of your fingers. You start differentiating between day and night, begin wearing clothing again, and suddenly notice those breathing things walking around in your house. Your posts twitter down to once a day.

Once a day! You can do this! There’s so many things going on in your head that surely you can post something, even a few sentences, once a day.

Once a day. Every damn day.

And you do for a while, because you’ve told everyone you have a blog and they commented a few times on the clever bon mots you saved and published. At this point, clicking on the publish button still gives you a thrill. You’re an author!

But authors come out with books maybe once a year at the most. And since you take so much care to structure your sentences and show off your writing chops as opposed to those hacks that multiply like bacteria in the Petri dish of the Internet, you’d be prolific if you post even once a month.

I mean, you have to redo your business website that you’ve ignored for the past year. You’re teaching Web writing and your own site reads like the kind of bad example you’d show your students. You’ve got to either hustle more or get off the air with this crazy dream that you can continue your radio career in a recession while staying put. Your husband feels ignored, your dog is shedding like crazy, your house looks like crap and you’re embarrassed to have anyone over.

So you tell yourself that posting as often as a non-menopausal woman has a period would be fine and after all, you can spend less time honing your pithy/witty Tweets instead-the ones that go directly to Facebook so you don’t have to jack around with writing stuff solely for that time suck.

Hey, you don’t have to post at all anymore! You can just cut and paste your Tweets onto your blog, and when you have enough, you can make a real live printed book from your Tweets!

Then you’ll be an author and start a blog. At first, you post daily…

September 10, 2009 at 9:38 am Leave a comment


Roberta Gale

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