The least sexiest topic in the world-with breasts

April 20, 2009 at 3:29 pm Leave a comment

I’ve wanted to talk about this for the past week, and frankly, it’s been taking up a lot of my time. But I don’t know anyone over legal age who isn’t being pulled under by a similar issue, so the time to talk is now.
The problem is, the topic is health care-and I don’t need to tell you how excruciating it is to hear someone’s else health problem. So I decided to substitute the world “nipple” for health insurance and “breast” for my particular prescription.
I went to pick up my breast at Walgreen’s the other day, and the pharmacist said I couldn’t have it because my nipple stopped covering my breast. I said, “No one told me that my breast isn’t covered, what are you talking about?” He replied, “There’s nothing I can do, your nipple keeps rejecting your breast. Perhaps you can order a substitute.”
I told her that there was no substitute for my breast, because I’ve tried several other breasts in the past, and they didn’t work-I ended up either throwing them out or giving them away.
I was really upset because I was almost out of breast and there was no way I could afford to pay for it on my own. So I went home and tried to get in touch with my nipple, but even after waiting on the phone for over an hour and talking to three different people, my nipple wouldn’t budge. Apparently, it changed the formulary and was now substituting my breast with a less expensive one.
So now I’m thinking of going down to Mexico for my breast, although my nipple told me that was an illegal and dangerous thing to do.
So I’m pleading with you, President Obama-fix the nipple problem now, before it grows larger and even more ugly.

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Roberta Gale

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