Menopause or Hypochondria?

November 20, 2008 at 10:53 am Leave a comment

Ah yes, another day of aches and pains and all the crap you don’t want to hear about, but I’m narcissistic enough to force upon strangers.

When the hell did menopause involve aches and fatigue? I thought it was all about the hot flashes and night sweats. I honestly did not believe it would suck this much, despite evidence to the contrary. I chose to believe my friend Janet who entered the gates of old egg expulsion with lighter periods and no discomfort. A bit of weight gain, perhaps, but all that extra food she was eating didn’t help.

No, I chose to do what I’m so well practiced at-denial. Why would I ever think that I would be like my sister-my sister who going crazy throwing out buckets of sweat any time of night or day, only to succumb to the shelter of hormones that made her bleed and resulted in the ol’ D and C-dilatation and cutterage. Or, the hot-sounding burning off of the uterine wall. Or Lourdes who needed to change her sheets twice a night-and not because they were soaked with the fluids of passion.

Are you guys still reading this, or did you run off to vomit? Trust me; given a choice between watching your woman flood the couch with fist-size clots, and turning the ceiling fan and thermostat on and off every 10 minutes, I’d take the latter.

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Hook Boy No, mom, I know what happened at the end

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Roberta Gale

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